Americans are navigating more than just inflation and interest rates. They’re also facing a quiet crisis of financial shame. When “balance due” alerts stack up and credit apps ping with ease, debt stops feeling like a simple line item. It starts to feel personal.
But here is the truth: Debt is something you have. It’s not who you are. Letting go of that shame is one of the most powerful steps you can take toward real financial wellness.
As chief financial wellness advisor at Beyond Finance, I work with clients every day who feel weighed down, not just by their debt, but by what they believe it says about them. Here is how to begin breaking free from that mindset and start feeling like yourself again.
Photo by Josefa nDiaz on Unsplash
1. Shift your inner dialogue to “I have a problem” instead of “I am the problem”
Stress, confusion and shame are valid emotional reactions to financial strain, but they are not your identity. Begin by separating yourself from the situation. You are not irresponsible. You are in a tough spot. Reframing your thoughts can help reduce self-blame and give you the clarity needed to take action.
Try saying:
- “I am learning to manage this.”
- “I am not alone in this experience.”
- “This is something I can work through. It’s not something that defines me.”
2. Talk about it, even when it feels difficult
Debt-related shame often grows in silence. A simple conversation can make a meaningful difference. Say to a trusted friend, family member or therapist, “I need to talk about something that has been weighing on me.” Sharing your experience can reduce isolation, provide emotional relief and open the door to support.
3. Rebuild your self-worth through holistic self-care
Debt can affect more than your finances. It can impact your sleep, energy and sense of identity. This is why emotional wellness and financial wellness must be addressed together.
Begin with small, manageable habits that help you feel more grounded:
- Prioritize regular meals and rest.
- Move your body, even if it is just a short walk.
- Do one thing each day that brings you clarity or joy.
You are not just paying down a balance. You are rebuilding a life with space for peace and progress.
4. Celebrate small wins, even when they feel minor
Did you pay an extra $10 toward a bill? Wake up without spiraling into worry? Ask for help instead of avoiding the conversation? These are all victories.
Small steps matter. Momentum builds when you acknowledge progress. Consider creating a note on your phone titled “Money Wins” and update it regularly. It is a reminder that change is happening, even if it feels slow.
5. Remember that debt may shape your situation, but it does not define you
Job loss, medical bills and caregiving responsibilities are common and often unavoidable. These are life circumstances, not moral failures. When you view debt as a financial measure instead of a personal flaw, you take away its emotional power. With practical tools, a supportive community and a compassionate mindset, you can begin a new chapter—one not defined by shame, but by strength. Your story isn’t over, and your debt is not the headline.
As an internationally recognized leader in holistic financial wellness, Dr. Erika Rasure is passionate about helping people bridge the gap between money and personal empowerment. With just over two decades of experience in financial therapy and coaching, she’s dedicated her career to reshaping the way we think about financial well-being- making it more accessible, practical, and deeply personal.
In her role as Chief Financial Wellness Advisor at Beyond Finance, Dr. Erika has led key initiatives to create innovative, real-world solutions for those looking to improve their financial health and transform their relationship with money.
She holds a PhD in Personal Financial Planning from Kansas State University and is a Certified Deep Transformational Coach, bringing both academic expertise and coaching experience to her leadership at Beyond Finance.
Outside of her work in financial wellness, you can usually find Dr. Erika on the yoga mat at Maryville University, where she shares movement and mindfulness with students, faculty and staff as a registered yoga instructor.