If networking doesn’t come naturally to you, you’re not alone. It can be hard to share your successes without feeling like you’re bragging, or to connect with new people without making the interaction feel transactional, even when trying to grow your business or personal brand.
“Thirty percent of networking is awkward and uncomfortable. We don’t know how people are going to react,” said Allison Shapira, the founder and CEO of Global Public Speaking. She joined our webinar series to present “a holistic approach to networking that you can use to build skills and strategies that yield tangible business results” that she’s honed from more than 20 years of experience.
Whether you’re navigating a massive conference center or preparing for a one-on-one chat over coffee, Shapira ‘s networking advice can turn an introduction into a lasting, mutually beneficial relationship.
WHY IS NETWORKING IMPORTANT?
According to Shapira, networking demonstrates a fundamental belief in yourself and others. When you exchange information with others to expand your professional circle, you’re acknowledging that they possess perspectives, experiences, and connections that are of value to you; and you provide the same things for them. In essence, we need each other.
If you struggle with talking about yourself or articulating your work, Shapira recommended that you ask yourself a series of questions before a networking interaction: Why do you care about the work you do and the people that you impact? When was a moment in your life that made you care? This is your origin story, and having a strong sense of these answers will ground you in a sense of purpose and calm.
THE BEST OPPORTUNITIES ARE OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
Shapira cautioned that connecting only with people who are similar to you or share the same interests isn’t a good growth strategy. She encouraged attendees to nurture more relationships with “weak ties,” as in people they’ve only met once or only met virtually. Those are the connections that produce better results because they allow you to learn and gain new points of view.
Exploring unconventional ways to make business connections can yield surprising results as well. Shapira met three clients while chatting between dances at her tango class, proving that small talk can lead to bigger opportunities. Be careful not to force the connection. Ask about the other person. Be curious and think of how you can be of service to them. When talking about work, avoid the urge to pitch yourself. If there’s interest on their end, they’ll make that known. Then, lean in.
FRAME YOUR CONVERSATIONS FOR SUCCESS.
In the same way that you’d tweak a resume or cover letter for each job application, you should also introduce yourself a little differently based on who you’re meeting. Shapira has developed a method for presenting a brief and concise summary of who you are and what’s most important to you at the moment in time when you introduce yourself to someone else. She calls it “the anti-pitch”:
“I have a background in X, and I’m currently doing/looking for Y.”
Let’s say you meet Alex at a conference. You should lead with curiosity about who Alex is and what they’re interested in. Their answers and your follow-up questions will help you form your anti-pitch. Your background is diverse, and you can pick which part to showcase based on what you feel will most spark Alex’s interest. Then you’ll share what you’re currently working on or looking for to highlight what’s unique about your perspective. You’ve just introduced yourself using the anti-pitch, providing more substance than if you’d just shared a vague job title. You’ve also helped Alex visualize how connecting with you might be beneficial while remaining your authentic self.
Try to strike a balance between making a meaningful impression and keeping interactions brief so you can make multiple connections and not get stuck in a one-on-one meeting in a room full of people. If you’re talking to someone who isn’t naturally returning your curiosity with questions about you, find opportunities to say, “That’s interesting, I’m actually…” and connect what they’re saying to your own experience. Of course, use your instincts. If someone is being short with you and having a conversation feels like a challenge, move on. You won’t have to convince the right people that you’re worth connecting with.
When it comes to exchanging information, physical business cards are great, but Shapira suggested that scanning the QR code to each other’s LinkedIn might be more common today. A pro tip is to take a screenshot of people’s LinkedIn profiles as you collect them.
NAIL THE FOLLOW UP.
The next morning, you can use those business cards and screenshots you’ve collected as a to-do list for your follow-ups. Set aside 30 minutes and decide which connections have a time sensitive need for a follow-up and which are just generally interesting to you. A customer relationship management tool, such as Zoho, can be useful to keep things organized.
And after you’ve scheduled your next chat to dive deeper with one of your new connections, Shapira recommends asking yourself a few questions to prepare:
- Who are you meeting with, and what’s important to them?
- What’s your goal in that meeting?
- Why you?
This could be a brief recounting of your origin story as an entrepreneur, but remember the anti-pitch. You’ll want to tie your skills and experience back to the interests of the person you’re talking to.
You’ll also want to prep a few additional questions you specifically want to ask that person so you come across well-researched and like you’re interested in more than just your own agenda.
QUICK NETWORKING DO’S AND DON’TS.
- DO seek out substantive, content-focused industry events when looking to meet new people. The best networking events don’t have the word “networking” in their title.
- DO try to ask the first question following a conference presentation or panel discussion. The first person asking a question has the most attention from the audience and attention spans taper off from there. You can lead with your anti-pitch and effectively introduce yourself to dozens of people at once.
- DO work confidence/credibility boosters into how you speak about yourself and your work, which can be especially helpful as a woman networking in male-dominated industries or cultures. Naming your decades of experience or certifications signals to the person you’re speaking with that they should take you seriously.
- DON’T add someone you’ve just met to a mailing list without their permission. Not only is that likely illegal, it’s disrespectful. You’re assuming a level of interest that they did not express.
- DON’T rely on cold outreach via LinkedIn to people you don’t know. “The new rules of networking are the old school rules of connection,” said Shapira. Authenticity is still king, and transactional messages without earned respect won’t bear much fruit.
“Networking is like interest,” Shapira said. “It compounds over time, and the more you pay into it early on, the more it compounds and compounds. And you never know when it’s going to come back and somebody is going to remember you and make an introduction for you.”